~falling in love and other risky behaviors

I was watching a documentary last night called Second Skin. It was about the online gaming communities. One of the story lines followed a couple that met through a game and fell in love over the computer. They eventually made the big move and he transplanted himself across the country to be with her. I wasn't able to finish the movie, but where I left it, you could see that the rose colored glasses were off and things were falling apart for them. It all got me thinking about how incredibly blessed and lucky Rob and I were. Seeing the interviews from before they met face to face was hilarious and so mirrored what we experienced. Giddy, full of hope, and totally scared to death but willing to take that leap. I am still amazed at the level of support my family showed when I made the big "i met someone online and I think I'm in love" confession. To this day I can't imagine the conversation mom and dad must have had that night. But it wasn't like it was my first venture into meeting people online. Not like I'd dated many folks from the magic toaster, but I'd had enough online exchanges and witnessed enough train wreck relationships to know better. I was cautious enough to know what was real and what was fantasy. Waiting for that first visit was gloriously scary. The odd thing is, the only thing my friends kept worrying over was what if he smelled bad. A thought I had never contemplated, the idea of a guy with really bad BO terrified my friends. Not "what if he's a woman? or a junky? or married? or mean?" To this day, I am still blown away that our leap of faith was met with so many blessings. With the success of so many Eharmony couples, admitting you met online is a little less freakish now a days. You still get that raised eyebrow "oh reallllly?" look, but fewer people think of you as some desperate kitten poster hanging freak show. On our honeymoon, we visited a friend of mine that I knew from the Kynd Crafter circle. She had recently fallen in love online but was embarrassed to admit it. I laugh when I think that she was embarrassed to admit to me that she had met her soul mate at the same silly site I had. In our circle of friends, I can name several very successful marriages that came about from a similar leap of faith. I wonder, what will B think of her parents' love story some day? Will it be so common place that she doesn't blink an eye? So I'd like to take this moment to thank my folks for being so kind as to keep their fears and doubts to themselves when I poured my heart out. I'd like to thank my dear friend Jessica for enduring a year of me dating him long distance and being a giddy school girl when our friendship was built upon our independent spirits and being survivors. I don't know what I would have done without gin therapy nights at the monkey pub and making weird eye Willy our whipping boy or our Snow Goose nights with Cheryl and Lisa singing Fat Bottom Girls. I'd like to thank the moms that I nannied for during that time of change for their support and understanding and embracing of Rob made me feel even safer in my decision to leave the work I loved to start from scratch. The years prior to Rob were some of the greatest in my life and I would never trade a single one of them for anything. After college, I felt beat down and unsure who I was anymore. Those years in Seattle allowed me to regroup and feel good about who I was once again. I knew what I wanted and what I was not willing to take. I have no doubt that if I didn't have that foundation already laid out, the leap into Rob's arms would have been much much bumpier.

~emotional tide books would be nice

I never had my own little guide telling me when the tide would be at its highest or lowest in the days when I lived on the Island. I just sort of went with it and no matter how it ended up, I just enjoyed how it was. But I was thankful for those who did have the handy little pocket book that helped us better plan whether we would be rolling up our pants and walking in the muddy sand looking for treasures or if we would be sitting on the driftwood wondering if we had seen it come that high up on the shore before. The last few days have seemed like the emotional tides have been pulling back and forth more drastically than they have in a long time. We went from joy to tears to joy at light speed last night. And today, we had such an incredibly lovely family time running around. The rummage sales were all wiped out(still think its unfair to start a garage sale on Friday.... why should stay at homes, retirees, and service industry folks have all the luck??) and the rain was coming in quickly, but we laughed and smiled, drank our coffee and listened to B tell us her opinion on everything. Then Amanda called to clue us in that there was an Earth Day parade downtown. So we finished our thrift store shopping(score of the day was a little wooden ironing board for miss B. I promise, I'll stop buying such gender restricting toys one day..... for now its all too sweet) and headed down to the Urban Frog and joined A&E for a funky little rainy parade. Then on to the White Dog for lunch and goodbye hugs with Dane. It was a day of smiles, friends, and treasures. So color me surprised when B woke up from her nap shrieking... well, and she wasn't even awake. That helpless mournful cry is enough to break any one's heart. On top of that, Rob had to head off to work and I think I was pissed that we're still in a place where he has to work weekend nights and we rarely if ever have a full day to be together. So after that amazing morning of fun, I'm crashing a bit and teary. Thankfully, I can embrace even the lows as I know they don't last forever and that we'll be dancing again before you know it. I have faith that B will be planting her cautious love filled kisses on the cats' heads before the night is over...... that Rob will bring smiles to my eyes again before I close my eyes for the night...... that every little thing is gonna be alright. So the question is.... would I really want a tide book to give me a heads up that a low tide might be ahead or do I just do what I've always done..... headed to the shore and learned to love whatever I found?

~ergolicious

I have to say, Sara from http://walkslowlylivewildly.com/ should be my personal buyer. Little does this woman realize that I seem to purchase or want to purchase everything she gushes over. But the way I see it, she has to be frugal with what she buys and she researches her stuff thoroughly. With limited space, she is bound to get something that will last, was made by a company with good business practises, and its practical. That said, I had been intrigued by her Ergo baby carrier. Like many of my friends, she believes in attachment parenting and having a good carrier that is versatile and durable is a priority. I have played around with different slings and carriers over the years. In my nanny days, I pretty much only had the sling. A lot of moms will sing the praises of these, but I was never EVER able to wear one for a long period of time and be comfortable. Then we got one of those structured Bjorn'like ones from the toy store when B was a bright new lil thing.

But as she got bigger, she just sort of seemed like a little stuffed sausage in there dangling out in front of us. So with the arrival of Easter bunny money, I got Rob on board and we ordered a not totally new Ergo from http://www.myfavoritebabycarrier.com/used.html . For those of you that need a bargain, you can get around $15 off the price. And when it arrived, I could have just sung from the rooftops. This thing ROCKS! I had some fears that B would not completely take to the whole carrier thing. Since I couldn't find a carrier I liked, and she was almost a year old, and a very independent little boog, I feared she would push and fuss to be put down the whole time. She seemed perplexed the first time. But once we were out and about, she was definitely into being up high and seeing the world from our level. Her only issue is that she likes to see what's coming and in this, she has to pull at my arm to turn and let her see where we are going.
We were at the new and improved dog park that day. I think she was watching her Libby wrastling with some other big dogs. The other thing I adore about this is that because she is directly against me, she gets all snuggly and will rest her face on my back and give the heaviest sweetest sighs and hums to me. Nothing feels better. So, with that said, I know I'm preaching to the choir as Rob and I are probably the only people who read this blog, but thank you God for the woman who designed these lovely carriers! And as a side note, how sexy does my mister look as a bald man??

~been too long

It's spring.... my plants are sprouting, the windows are coming out of the sun porch, and places like Home Depot become a standard date destination for Rob and me. I am a bad mom. I completely failed to blog about B's first birthday. Perhaps its a good sign that I'm just enjoying being in the moment. Or that I'm just too tired or absorbed into facebook to pull up blogspot. Eitherway, I really want to change that. B is a big crazy 1 year old. She chatters to anyone willing to listen. Libby is still her best buddy. Especially as she is learning to give Libby really good butt scratchings. Grandma Nita flew in for a whirlwind visit recently. She and B just hit it off like peas and carrots right from the moment we got her from the baggage claim. It was amazing to wake up to the sounds of her and Grandma chatting and giggling each morning. It was perfect timing too as I was just entering into my annual "i need to get back to washington NOW!" funk. While it did not extinguish my plan to get us all transplanted in the northwest, it drove home the reasons why I long to be back home. I can tell that its not just me. Rob shows the sign of something building up as well. That tell tale underlying sense of being unsettled has been stirring things up. This usualy precedes a huge change for us. Scary at first, but so far each change has resulted in a wonderful new phase for us. So bring it on!! We've got faith, yes we do. We've got faith. How bout you!!!! Now.... onto thinking up some interesting blog posts so I can keep on this....